A Story-Teller

Once upon a time, here in Adelaide there was a place called Glenside Hospital. I can remember walking it's decrepit, depressing halls with my Mum on a visit she undertook to see the son of one of her friend's who was in residence there.

During this particular time period of my life I was in a great upheaval. I had experienced what is often called 'School Refusal' for pretty much all of my schooling life. School to me was not a safe place of learning, it was a place of pain and being told I was a liar, and that I was not in pain. I had a fragile concept of self-worth, and a fragile concept of reality thanks to constantly being informed that what I felt - migraines and pain - was 'not real' and I was 'making it all up' and 'l was a little liar'.

To this day, I do not know why my mother took me along to Glenside Hospital, but it terrified me. I can still recall the overwhelming fear that gripped me, that oh-oh no-this was the place--this awful place--this was the place 'They' threatened to take me too when 'They' had threatened to take me away from my parents. Encase you're wondering who 'They' are - no, they're not some nebulous creation of a child's mind, 'They' are teachers, and psychologists, who still - to this day - I have an uneasy distrust with due to their treatment of me during these years. Being told that you're going to be taken from your parents, from your family, the only place you feel safe and secure - well - I can tell you - that's horrifying. I continued to find myself feeling trapped by an overwhelming feeling that if I did not perform, if I did not go to school, to the awful, horrible place of evil, evil, evil then I would be stolen away by the Government from my amazing parents who had never done anything wrong.

I was disgusting.

I was a terrible, horrible daughter.

I did not deserve their love.

This crushed my soul.

(Don't worry. I'm okay. ^_^ Just, making sure you all know that. This was a long, long time ago.)

So, as you can imagine - walking into Glenside Hospital - the place where those with mental health conditions were housed, installed within me a great deal of dread. Was this where I was going to end up? I mean - I kept getting told I was making everything up in my head. I was taking drugs too. I was so scared.

I never told my parents. The fear of being taken away from them kept me very silent. I was only a teen, I had no idea how to explain what I was feeling, and when I did explain to a teacher or a psychologist I was met with denials.

The thing is, this experience at Glenside Hospital - it isn't entirely negative. Actually, meeting the son of my mother's friend - I consider that memory to be one of my most precious memories. I visited him several times at Glenside. There was this particular visiting room, where the windows were big and wide, and the sunlight poured into the archaically ancient furniture that had probably been there since the dawn of time itself. It is this sunlight bathed room where my memories linger the most, hazy and tinted by dust mites and heavy with a sense weighted dread. Here, in this room, I would tell him about my stories, but mostly one in particular: "A Land in The Clouds" - and he listened with enthralled delight to my innocent little tales. I even presented him with one of my first ever manuscripts.

And in return I received the first ever illustrations of any work I had ever done.

Kylie and Queen Kitty ^_^

Peter (the 'bad-guy') and the Dogs and TeeDee the Turtle

Prince DanDan

This was the front cover

Queen Kitty, SkyKnight Kylie, Prince DanDan and Prince Sunrise

These original illustrations I have, that he gifted me, are extremely precious to me. I burned with a deep, deep passion to be an author, to share my stories and worlds with people. I cannot explain why I have always had this desire, when writing is not a natural talent of mine - but I love telling stories. Sitting in that awful place that filled me with such fear, that fear faded away when the story-teller in me came out.

It is an experience I will never forget. They are memories I will hold dear for a lifetime.

Remembering that I am a story-teller, no matter where I go, no matter what the situation is -

if I can tell stories in some way, then that's okay, I am doing what I always wanted to do.

And - encase you're wondering - A Land in the Clouds still exists as a story - these characters still exist in my imagination in some form. This is the original childhood world that 'Crack of Middrift' comes from, it's a Portal Fantasy still, about a woman who accidently steps on a crack, finds a prince of a kingdom, she becomes his knight and protector and they save their kingdom from the other human who'd stumbled onto the crack. I just added extra padding - but - it's basically the same story, and I think that's kind of adorable. So, look forward to me continuing that adventure and hopefully wrapping up the book soon!